...Rae

RaeAnne Marie
That was the name she gave me.

I know I have not talked about the fact that I am adopted at all yet. It is not always something that I think about. I have always known that I was adopted as well as my brother. I have always had the desire to find my birth family.

When I was 22 I started looking, I hired a case worker to go about the search in a legal way. As well as not scare the crap out of the biological family I have out there.

I used to send her flowers on birthday. I found a florist in her home town, told them what I was willing to spend and instructed that they be delivered ON the 21st, not the 20th or the 22nd, the 21st. The card never had my name in it just ‘thinking of you always epically today’. And then my cell phone number.
Last year I didn’t have the money to send the flowers, so instead I sent her a Facebook message titled, ‘because I couldn’t send you flowers’. She responded in 20 min.
Now, almost a year later T and I are planning a trip west to see her for my 29th birthday. The first one I will have ever spent with her.
I have not spent a lot of time cataloguing my thoughts and feelings about it all. I am excited, scared and cautiously optimistic. No big profound thoughts yet just fragments.